Lately I've found myself thinking about my world versus the worlds of those around me. It's hard to believe that the happiest moment in my sister's life (so far) happened in the same year as the worst moment in mine. She got married, my friends got engaged, other friends were married and it really brings a clearer definition to the phrase "life goes on". Just when it felt like my world ended, someone else’s had just begun.
I remember thinking that I couldn't wait for this year to be over, and now that it's quickly approaching I keep wanting to make it last longer. As strange as it may sound, Alex was here in 2012 - he won't be in 2013. We had some of the best times this past year - we went to Cuba, we went snowboarding, we made homemade pizzas, we celebrated his iron ring, we made a silly music video, we celebrated our birthdays together, we had ten incredible days in Bermuda, the list goes on and on. I won't have any memories with him in the New Year, and that's a terrifying feeling.
Terrifying as it is though, it's my reality. I don't have any other options, no second choices; I just have to learn to accept that this is life. And life goes on and it doesn't stop moving for anyone and there's a haunting beauty in that realization.
"As strange as it may sound, Alex was here in 2012 - he won't be in 2013."
ReplyDeleteReading this really resonated with me. I hadn't thought about it that way, but that's so true. It's crazy to wrap your mind around the idea that there will be no memories of the two of you together in the next year.