After experiencing the heartbreak of losing a love so tragically, I’ve never really thought about what it will feel like having a “normal” heartbreak. Before Alex, I had dated other people, but once he and I met all of my sadness from previous relationships kind of went out the door- he made me forget about all of it. But now, this pain and sadness is a part of me; a part that I will carry with me always, and so the thought of adding sadness to that is a little (a lot) daunting.
On one hand, I know that almost nothing will be able to hurt
that much- it’s like I’ve already been through it all so what’s one more thing?
But on the other hand, I feel like any minor heartache is going to feel ten
times worse because I’m already so sad- it’s a terrible version of a “catch-22”.
Sometimes the feeling of the unknown is truly terrifying- and completely paralyzing.
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